Last week, I did well with my workouts. Got them all in, (well all but 20mins of a run). I also got to spend quality time with my husband and son which was great! Victorious!
My weeks usually begin with the giant task of making my master plan on how I’m going to fit it all in. Heaven help me, if something gets thrown into my delicate balancing act that wasn’t planned. Last week it was an unexpected visit to the doctor for my son who had pink eye and a cold. This week it was getting errands done that were not completed over the weekend. Most weeks, I find myself moving workouts around, getting up early to squeeze something in before work or anyone wakes up. I get to the end of the week (and sometimes day) completely gassed from it all. It is very typical that one, two or five things that were on the list still remain untouched. I continue to work on learning to let things go. I try my hardest to not let it bother me when Monday rolls around and there are those tasks that somehow never made it to the completed list. But it does. I took this Friday off to close the books on my freelance business. Sad really, because I enjoyed my clients, but at the end of the day I just couldn’t fit that into the mix as well. Also sad that I need to use a PTO day for this- Yuck.
My weeks usually begin with the giant task of making my master plan on how I’m going to fit it all in. Heaven help me, if something gets thrown into my delicate balancing act that wasn’t planned. Last week it was an unexpected visit to the doctor for my son who had pink eye and a cold. This week it was getting errands done that were not completed over the weekend. Most weeks, I find myself moving workouts around, getting up early to squeeze something in before work or anyone wakes up. I get to the end of the week (and sometimes day) completely gassed from it all. It is very typical that one, two or five things that were on the list still remain untouched. I continue to work on learning to let things go. I try my hardest to not let it bother me when Monday rolls around and there are those tasks that somehow never made it to the completed list. But it does. I took this Friday off to close the books on my freelance business. Sad really, because I enjoyed my clients, but at the end of the day I just couldn’t fit that into the mix as well. Also sad that I need to use a PTO day for this- Yuck.
I question how others find the time to get it all done- without outside paid help?? Impossible I say. Training wise--I’m still in the early season. The Big stuff begins Memorial Day through Labor Day. I have a huge fear that I won’t be able to make it all work without something suffering. Mom. Wife. Work. Laundry. Meals. Grocery Shopping. Housekeeping. Bills. Swimming. Biking. Running. It seems a never ending list, and as race season approaches I wonder, how WILL I get this all done, and still have time for kicking back with the fam? I am starting to accept the fact I will need to ask for more help, and depend on others. I am faced with the task of finding a sitter to watch Jack for a few hours when I have a long ride or open water swim after daycare and before John gets home. This thought freaks me to no end. Not that I’m a control freak, but after all the struggles we went through to bring Jack into this world I have tremendous amounts of Mommy guilt. The thought of spending time away from my little cherub makes my stomach and heart ache. I don’t want him to always see me going, and I don’t want to miss out on spending time with him and my husband. As strong as those feelings are, I also feel strongly about setting a good example for Jack to follow. I want him to know that hard work pays off. Yes, he is a little young for such lessons, but eventually he’ll grow up and I would like this concept to be something he is already used to. Mommy guilt is such an overwhelming thing.
This past weekend, my workouts were eh, just okay. Computrainer class was wicked hard. I struggled the entire time, and Sunday I had my long run. Which could have been really bad, but God blessed me by providing a light sprinkle instead of the pissing rain we had just a short hour before I left. I was really unmotivated, since Jack and John were up having a good time laughing and playing in our warm house… and I was um, heading out into the cold rain to do a run. BOO! I started off slowly and headed down the road, when I saw someone else in a brightly colored jacket running toward me. I felt better… knowing I wasn’t the only crazy person running out in the cold rain. As they approached closer, I noticed it was my coach…NEVER was I so glad to have seen her, it gave me such a boost, and I got the motivation to press ahead and push up to zone 3. I nailed that zone the whole time, and it felt good! Monday was masters swim. Can I just say I hate when they add the chemicals to the pool!!! This is the second time where I thought for sure I was coming down with the flu. I couldn’t breathe and my muscles were so unresponsive from lack of oxygen. I was moved up to a faster lane and after 2 sets moved myself back to my orig. lane. I just couldn’t do it, by the 3rd or 4th stroke I was gasping for air. NOT FUN. And NOT a good start to the week. I struggled through, and after practice a teammate called me a lane hussy… I am still laughing; I was like Goldie Locks and the 3 lanes. I just hate nights like that.
In other news….
I had my annual doctor appointment. It’s been over a year since Jack was born and since I had my transfusion. For those of you who don’t know, when Jack was born, we had complications and I had an emergency C-section. Jack was stuck and they had to open me like a T. They finally got him out and he wasn’t breathing for six mins. LONGEST six mins of my life! While they worked to get Jack breathing I was slipping into shock for being open so big and so long. I received 9 pints of blood platelets and plasma. Thanks to the grace of God, everyone is here and healthy. They test a year out to make sure nothing weird was contracted from the transfusion. I am happy to report I have a clean bill of health. Thank you to the donor(s) that donated. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. I can now donate blood, and am very eager to do so. It is such a simple thing and truly saves lives- I’m proof!
Red Cross blood collections in the month of January were the lowest seen in a decade. Across the country, severe winter storms forced thousands of expected pints of blood to go uncollected; up to 30,000 and still climbing! Just 1 pint can save up to 3 lives!
http://www.redcrossblood.org/
Until next time!!
It never gets easier. It is always rewarding though. Don't sweat the small stuff and do the best you can. If it makes you feel any better you could physically do your ironman now. It's just a matter of what kind of shape you would be in at the end.
ReplyDeleteNow...let's see if we can make your computrainer class even harder... :)
Thanks Rob...I know Computrainer classes will pay off, come September, Im gonna ROCK that race! Thanks for putting the classes together and for the words of encouragement. I have NO DOUBT that class will be harder! :)
ReplyDeleteIt is absolutely a struggle to get it all in...but as you said, you have to learn to accept that certain things will just have to pile up. You will catch up, AFTER IM...and that's OK!! And you know what, you need to remember this is supposed to be fun too!! I know your coaches have you on a schedule but if you need a mental day you have to be ok with taking it. You ARE going to rock this race Cheryl!! Enjoy the ride! Oh and as for mommy guilt, that'll be with us for the rest of our lives. As long as Jack is with people who care about him and keep him engaged, you are STILL caring for him and there for him. Mommy's have to have goals too, otherwise we lose ourselves. Trust me on that one. Lots of LOVE and support to you Cheryl! If there is anything I can do, please let me know! SMOOCHES!! Kim
ReplyDeleteKim you are awesome! Lunch soon please!!!! Im still waiting for your IM recap ;)
ReplyDeleteCheryl, you are one of the most dedicated, loving and committed mommy's I have the priveledge to know. In no way will Jack suffer for your quest. You will have family time - just remember "cobwebs can wait". The sense of accomplishment in reaching your goal will envelope your family. I have no doubt you will make it work, but like Kim said be sure to have fun. You can't spend the entire season stressing over everything it is not healthy for you or your family. I am here for you - anything you need! I am incredibley proud of you and I love you. Mom :)
ReplyDeletep.s. please excuse my spelling - Mrs. Lowen (7th grade teacher) would be mortified!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Kim and Sue on this one...it's important to be a good leader for Jack, as well as a good mom! He'll grow up to think that women can do anything! (as well he should:)
ReplyDeleteGood job with the workouts...i slept through mine yesterday by accident.
Yes, balancing it all is NOT easy and it is MUCH harder for new moms....no doubt about that. I always felt so stressed during those early years too - the only saving grace was I worked from home. So, keep it balanced and take one day at a time- you are doing great!
ReplyDeleteNICE to see you running out there too! :))
i know it's got to be tough doing the workouts and leaving jack with a sitter on top of your job and other responsibilities- and though he may not understand it- he is going to see you complete an ironman- and see what an awesome, strong mommy you are. you're teaching him that he can do ANYTHING he wants to do if he just works hard and sets his mind to it. kim is right though- mommy guilt will always be there for every mommy in some way and probably will never go away! but you're doing this for you and you're doing this for your family and for others!
ReplyDeleteYou will absolutely figure it out...I liken it a woman not yet a mom understanding how you make it all work, but then the kid arrives, and you do, somehow, figure out how you're going to play mom, wife, & worker all at once. By labor day, you'll be managing so many roles with ease, you'll amaze yourself!! -Kate
ReplyDeleteMaybe they should do an iron-mom competition with another task added--like juggling! big hugs j
ReplyDeleteHi Cheryl!
ReplyDeleteI just caught up on your blog posts. You are so not alone in feeling this way! It is encouraging to have other mom's out there who are working toward the same goals with the same challenges :) It will all be worth it!