Now I’m in a completely different numbers game. It’s all about Estrogen, Progesterone, FSH, lining numbers. Again, one can become obsessed with these numbers. I found myself in the same situation. We are now entering attempt number three for baby number two. The first IVF cycle failed, and the second one was canceled and moved to an IUI based on low Estrogen numbers. Truth be told, this has been very, very hard on me. It has been almost 9 months since Ironman. In my mind, I would be ready to pop right about now with baby number two. Not starting on cycle number three. You know what they say… if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. A sobering reality that I am not in control of creating the miracle of life no matter how many supplements I take or if I live gluten and sport free.
In my last appointment with my doctor we talked about a new protocol to try. If it doesn’t work I was told we would need to think about another route (meaning donor eggs). My heart sank. I’ve done everything under the sun to increase my chances. I’ve given up Gluten, Swim, Bike, Run, and I take enough supplements to win hands down a pill popping contest with a 90 year old. All of this, and still we struggle. Tears forming at the corners of my eyes, I asked my doctor is there ANYTHING else I can do to increase my chances? She said I am doing everything that I can, and doing it right. But then she said something that shocked me. She told me for the next month (while I’m not on stimulation medication) that I should eat my glorious gluten filled pizza, go for a run, swim or bike- BE NORMAL.
|Jack ready for the Running Race!|
|Jack and I after our first 5k together! He was awesome!|
This past weekend I managed to get on my bike for an hour. I got out early on Sat morning and I forgot how I much I love morning training. Swim, bike or run, in the AM there is something so special about it. I feel sorry for those who miss out on the magic of the world waking up around you. The soft hum of the sprinklers, the birds chirping away, and the sun just rising... truly God’s work. I feel so blessed to be out taking in it. I love seeing the animals, Cows and horses, the previous weekend while out on a run with a great friend, I saw a bald eagle perched on a large branch in the middle of the Fox River. I also saw a giant turtle resting on a rock. Magic. Back to my ride, it went well... I wasn’t pushing too hard, but managed to get almost 17 miles done in an hour averaging 15.5 mph. Humbling considering what I was doing prior to my IVF hiatus. But as my husband said, it is better than the ride I did the month before. Point taken. Then Sunday morning I was blessed with getting into the open water with my Mom, brother and my brother's friend Ryan.
|Jack ready for the beach!|
Until next time....
Keep smiling and have fun racing and training.